You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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