If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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