she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
