So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
