I'm really into asian looking animals
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Semen is not good for contacts.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
