People with herpes should wear stickers.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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