He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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