this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
