he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
