I am spending my child support on dildos
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I have fence marks all over my body
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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