keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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