I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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