i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
