the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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