I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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