There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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