just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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