i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
