Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
