I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
