I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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