Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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