So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
