Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
