My room smells like vodka and shame
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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