this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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