I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
