I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
