8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize