I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think my vagina is haunted
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
