Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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