Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
