I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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