I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
