Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
