Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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