You're my little dorito
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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