he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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