I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Rumble strips road head = magical
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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