I just gift wrapped bread.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize