Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
