The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
