Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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