when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
