well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
