I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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