I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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