Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
