I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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