i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
