Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
