Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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