I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
