i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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