dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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