I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize