I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I believe in your delicious
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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