i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
