Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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