so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
