the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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