big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
