i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
