how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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