Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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