He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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