I wish I only lived at night.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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