This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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