can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
